bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 8:59:45 GMT 8
Wholesome and clean jokes only, save yourself from trouble ;D ;D
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:03:31 GMT 8
A LETTER TO GOD
Here was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is my Birthday, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few quid. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. A Birthday came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those theives at the Post Office.
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:06:16 GMT 8
(SOUNDS FUNNY BUT SWEET)
A faithful husband was drunk, he doesn't know what was happening around him. Upon going home, he directly entered the room and slept..
Morning came, everything is in order, a tablet of aspirin and a glass of water with a note, "GOOD MORNING HON, I'LL JUST BUY GROCERIES.. HAVE BREAKFAST! ILOVEYOU."
He was wonderin why was that so..
He asked his son, "what happened last night? Your mom should be angry."
Son replied, "mom tried to unclothe u, but you said..
....STOP, IM MARRIED!"
ü
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:08:31 GMT 8
Did noah fish?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:15:40 GMT 8
How do fights start?
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
-----------
unknown
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:22:50 GMT 8
"pampalipas oras lng...wag seryosohin!"
SA BAKERY: Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake. Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!
Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo! Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna! GF: Sige, clue naman... BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo. GF: Kwintas? BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend. Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...
JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari? ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita) JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong. ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?
FROG: what does my future hold? FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you. FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party? FAIRY: no. in biology class
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery: -san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to? -10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang! -doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia. -kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi? -sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly? MR: uhm.. both.. MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly? MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science? PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am! TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science? PEDRO: science is our lesson for today
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay. (nilabas ni Inday) INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution! PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!...nosebleed! (nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday)
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw? PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko. BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan? PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
DOC: umubo ka! PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho! DOC: ubo pa! PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho! DOC: okay. PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc? DOC: may ubo ka.
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo. CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan? MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM! GMA: hallow gracia! GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek. GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba? GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na! GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?! GARCI: anufi ate. GMA: oshah ba.
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya. Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo. Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede? "uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......
TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka? MGA BATA: eeewwww!
T IT SER: bat ka na-late? EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. T IT SER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap? EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.
Sa kasalan PARI: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo. GROOM: eto P5, father. Tinignan ng pari ang bride. PARI: eto P4 sukli mo iho.
Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!
Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library. ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya. LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!
SA OSP IT AL ..... WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga. HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.
INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito. [pagkatapos tawagan.] ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot. INA: sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi? ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre.
nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim. BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah. ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!
thought to ponder: hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay pinutol niya lahat ng puno para gumawa ng napaka laking arko? ano sa tingin mo? ng puno para gumawa ng napaka laking arko? ano sa tingin mo?
PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina. JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera? PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon.
kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?
inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."
“kung nahihirapan kana sa buhay mo ngaun..ba’t di mo subukan ang kabilang buhay!”
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bukojuz
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Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:26:01 GMT 8
For those who are working (just for laughs!)
Differences between You and Your Boss
If you take a long time, you're slow. BUT if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
If you don't do it, you're lazy. BUT if your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
If you make a mistake, you're an idiot. BUT if your boss makes a mistake, he's 'only human'.
If you're on a day off sick, you're 'always' sick. BUT if your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed. BUT if your boss does it, he's being firm.
If you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. BUT if your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
If you please your boss, you're arse-creeping. BUT if your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative.
If you do something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. BUT if your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
If you're out of the office, you're wandering around. BUT if your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
If you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. BUT if your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
Mga salitang gustong-gusto mong isagot sa boss pero hindi pwede (bakit nga ba hindi pwede?):
1. Malilimutin nga ako eh, kaya dapat ipaalala mo sa akin yung dapat kong ipaalala sa'yo.
2. Hindi ko nga makita bakit ba ang kulit mo? Ikaw kaya ang maghanap.
3. Yan ang hirap eh, bopol ka naman sa computer bakit ba hi-tech ang gusto mo? Tapos ako ang mag-aaral para maturuan ka ng simplest version!
4. Naku ha, wala akong alam d'yan kaya pwede ba, kung mainit ang ulo mo 'wag kang mandamay at nananahimik akong dinatnan mo dito.
5. Bakit ba tawag ka ng tawag eh may kausap nga ako sa telepono? Ikaw ba pag may kausap iniistorbo ba kita?
6. Hindi lahat ng contacts mo contacts ko din. Yan ang hirap sa'yo eh, pag hindi mo mahanap sa address book mo, sa'kin mo hahanapin eh ikaw lagi ang tumatawag dun! Walang ganyanan!
7. Ako na lang lagi ang may kasalanan kapag may gusto kang pagtaguan o iwasan, tingin tuloy sa'kin ng mga naghahanap sa'yo eh sinungaling! Ano kaya't sabihin ko sa kanilang nagtatago ka lang?
8. Itimpla mo nga ako ng kape! Dami kong ginagawa di na ako magkanda-ugaga!
9. Busy ako 'wag kang istorbo. May mga paa at kamay ka naman, dalawa pa ang mata mo!
10. Hindi mo ba nakikitang busy ako? Sagutin mo nga yung telepono at kanina pa ring ng ring!
11. Lunchtime na no, kung ayaw mo pang kumain bahala ka sa buhay mo at ako duling na sa gutom!
12. Bago ka mag-dictate isipin mo munang maigi kung ano ang gusto mong sabihin, nangangawit na ako sa kaka-antay ng susunod mong sentence.
13. Bakit ba singhal ka ng singhal diyan, hindi ako bingi! Kanina ka pa, huh?!
14. Bakit ba mas magaling ka pa sa akin eh trabaho ko ito? Kung gusto mo ikaw na ang gumawa!
15. Akala ko ba 9 to 6 lang dito? Wala pang 9 naghahanap ka na, tapos lampas na ng 6 utos ka pa ng utos d'yan!
God bless you! Commit your work to the Lord =)
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:32:30 GMT 8
A story is said of a policeman who frequent a chinese restaurant somewhere in Chinatown. The policeman come to eat everyday and left without paying for his meal. And this habit goes on for 3 years.
One day the owner was surprised that the policeman asked for his bill after taking his usual meal. The policeman paid his bill to the owner.
The owner asked the policeman what had changed him. The policeman said that he is now a born again christian so he will now have to pay his bill.
"Really? You're a born again Christian now? I'm a born again Christian too." Exclaimed the owner. And with a wide grin he added "That's why I no longer spit on your soup."
--EEeww
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 19, 2009 9:44:55 GMT 8
BOB ONG Quotes
“BOB ONG QUOTES”
1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..”
2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”
3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”
4. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”
5. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”- Hahaha Sabi naman ni Juan tamad, “Babalik at babalik parin ang elevator, kaya mas maganda na maghintay ka nalang”
6. “Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.”
7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”
8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”
9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”
10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.”
11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.” -
12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”
13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”
14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya.”
15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”
16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay ng walang ginagawa.”
17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
19. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka..” Inspiring diba? LOL…
20. "hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa, kundi ang pagtanggap na sa libo-libong tao sa mundo, wala man lang isang nakipaglaban para makasama ka.."
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bukojuz
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Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 20, 2009 11:31:30 GMT 8
Divine Code Writing
Between moments of dispensing wisdom, managing things ecclesiastic, and occasionally intervening in world affairs, it seems that earth's religious leaders had also learned computer programming. One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day's event: Jesus and Mohammed. The judge described the software application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines, classes, applets and applications flew by on their screens at incredible speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon be finished. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning flashed and the power went out.
After a moment it came back on-just in time for the clock to announce that at last, the competition was over. The judge asked the two contestants to reveal their finished software. Mohammed angrily said that he'd lost it all in the power outage. The judge turned to the other competitor. Jesus smiled, clicked a mouse and a dazzling application appeared on his screen.
After just a few moments, the judge was clearly impressed and declared Jesus the victor. When asked what made the difference on which the decision was made, the judge said that the unique characteristic which set the winner apart from all the other leaders was that: . . . "Jesus saves."
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bukojuz
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Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 20, 2009 11:43:51 GMT 8
Author Unknown
On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed..
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
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Post by rideralf on Mar 21, 2009 15:53:25 GMT 8
Author Unknown On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed.. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. NYA HA HA HA HA!!!
Life explained very well...
Nice one, bro...
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bukojuz
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 23, 2009 9:23:26 GMT 8
thanks sir rideralf!
eto pa
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I'm done, poof! ..... the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.
"Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"
"Oh my gosh!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
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Post by rideralf on Mar 23, 2009 13:22:43 GMT 8
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I'm done, poof! ..... the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. "Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?" "Oh my gosh!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!" NYA HA HA!!! naalala ko tuloy yung kaibigan ko noong di pa ko Kingdom Child... Galit na galit sa akin ang asawa nya kasi pag umuwing lasing after our drinking sessions eh iniihian yung aparador nila... Sa loob, take note... 'la nga lang ilaw pero it's as close to the joke as it can get... Hwe hwe hwe. ;D
Thank God those were days of old...
Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!!!
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Post by Angkasera on Mar 23, 2009 15:43:00 GMT 8
...Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!!! Amen my brother!
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Post by <<Batman>> on Mar 23, 2009 19:27:05 GMT 8
Hehehe...kakatuwa 'tong thread ni bukojuz ah!!!
Marami din sana akong pwedeng i-post, kaya lang wag na lang, pang-wholesome lang daw eh! Hehehe
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Post by rideralf on Mar 24, 2009 8:14:14 GMT 8
Ever since he was a little child, Greg Jones always wanted to be rich. He also knew that it would take extraordinary discipline for him to reach his goal of financial wealth as the world is so full of temptations to spend on meaningless luxuries...
So he set his heart on working hard and spending as little as possible to achieve his goal. Part of his plan was to scrimp on food expenses so he vowed to eat only crackers and juice until he reached his goal of at least $1million in savings. He reasoned out that once he reached his savings goal then he can so easily enjoy the luxuries that the world had to offer; but only after he reached his goal and not before...
Greg began working at 16. At the age of 50, after working diligently and working his way up the corporate ladder whilst sticking to his self-avowed regimen of crackers and juice only, he was close to reaching his savings goal.
At 51, at long last, he deposited his paycheck into his savings pushing his account to a staggering $1,001,050.00.
The first thing Greg did was to report for a full and comprehensive physical exam so that he can prepare himself to "enjoy the world". He reasoned that after eating crackers and juice only for what seemed like forever, he had earned himself this "luxury".
By the next day, the doctor called him in to his office and relayed the reports of the physical exam to him...
"Mr. Jones, I'm afraid I have some not so good news... You have worked yourself out too much over the past 30+ years and it has taken a toll on your body. Though you have no life-threatening disease, your body is in such a "weakened" state that your entire digestive and circulatory system are in a very fragile state that any disruption could so easily cause them to inadvertently shut down.
Hence, to avoid such, I am ordering you to subsist on crackers and juice from this day onward."
;D ;D ;D
LESSON: Enjoy life! Ride on, Faith Riders!
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bukojuz
ADIK ako mag-post!!
Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 24, 2009 13:30:38 GMT 8
Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!!! Amen on that too sir. ;D
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bukojuz
ADIK ako mag-post!!
Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 24, 2009 13:31:53 GMT 8
Hehehe...kakatuwa 'tong thread ni bukojuz ah!!! Marami din sana akong pwedeng i-post, kaya lang wag na lang, pang-wholesome lang daw eh! Hehehe mahirap na bro baka mapatalsik tayo ni boss moderator hehe.. pm mo na lang sakin jokes mo hahaha! peace!
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bukojuz
ADIK ako mag-post!!
Posts: 110
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Post by bukojuz on Mar 24, 2009 13:34:10 GMT 8
Ever since he was a little child, Greg Jones always wanted to be rich. He also knew that it would take extraordinary discipline for him to reach his goal of financial wealth as the world is so full of temptations to spend on meaningless luxuries...
So he set his heart on working hard and spending as little as possible to achieve his goal. Part of his plan was to scrimp on food expenses so he vowed to eat only crackers and juice until he reached his goal of at least $1million in savings. He reasoned out that once he reached his savings goal then he can so easily enjoy the luxuries that the world had to offer; but only after he reached his goal and not before...
Greg began working at 16. At the age of 50, after working diligently and working his way up the corporate ladder whilst sticking to his self-avowed regimen of crackers and juice only, he was close to reaching his savings goal.
At 51, at long last, he deposited his paycheck into his savings pushing his account to a staggering $1,001,050.00.
The first thing Greg did was to report for a full and comprehensive physical exam so that he can prepare himself to "enjoy the world". He reasoned that after eating crackers and juice only for what seemed like forever, he had earned himself this "luxury".
By the next day, the doctor called him in to his office and relayed the reports of the physical exam to him...
"Mr. Jones, I'm afraid I have some not so good news... You have worked yourself out too much over the past 30+ years and it has taken a toll on your body. Though you have no life-threatening disease, your body is in such a "weakened" state that your entire digestive and circulatory system are in a very fragile state that any disruption could so easily cause them to inadvertently shut down.
Hence, to avoid such, I am ordering you to subsist on crackers and juice from this day onward."
;D ;D ;D
LESSON: Enjoy life! Ride on, Faith Riders! aray ko! saklap naman ng inabot nya! ;D
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